News & Updates
Building Community through Crucial Conversations not Yaks
By Dave Smallen
January 25, 2016
R U Serious? Are we becoming a community in which texting, email and social media replace face to face conversations? I hope not.
A 2012 Huffington Post article suggests that while electronic communications can effectively support casual conversations and fun between friends, body language, facial expressions and tone of voice are necessary for dealing with difficult issues. In the fall, inappropriate and inaccurate posts on the anonymous social media app Yik Yak were hurtful and damaging to members of our community. While we are not unique in dealing with Yik Yak, the most important way we can create the community we want is to learn how to have effective face to face conversations with each other about difficult issues.
As a starting point, I recommend that you read the book Crucial Conversations. (A dialog about an issue in which opinions differ, emotions run strong and stakes are high is known as a crucial conversation.)
Learning to have effective conversations about difficult issues is a critical life skill, equally important in your personal life as it is at work. At Hamilton, this skill is so important that we make developing it part of the syllabus for the Hamilton Management Roundtable (HMR), a professional development opportunity that is offered to all supervisors. In addition, workshops on this topic have been offered more broadly by Debby Quayle, who is a certified Crucial Conversations Trainer.
The first step in a successful crucial conversation is for people to openly and honestly share their opinions, feelings, and experiences related to the issue being discussed. If the situation is difficult our emotions often take control and we say something we later regret or we withdraw from the conversation all together by changing the topic or just becoming silent. If everyone contributes we create what is called a “pool of shared meaning,” and we can move successfully to understanding and action. Sounds simple, but as our current political climate demonstrates, many crucial conversations end badly.
Read the book, change your life, help Hamilton build a strong community.
